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Lying Tears By Me

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Lying Tears By Me

Post by Hype on Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:23 pm

This is the emptiest place I have ever rested my head. There are no trees to cast shadows over my lonely bones and yet no sunlight ever seems to glisten on the skin of the stones covering this yard. There is a deathly quiet to this place. When you are stood here, with your eyes closed, you could almost believe that everyone has left this world. Even the wind stops at my door and sneaks soundlessly round the gates. The only sound you will ever hear, and then only rarely and only for a short while, is muffled crying.

I think that today that that haunted sound might once again dominate this graveyard. I can see you from a far as you take step after reluctant step towards my. Even now, the sight of you warms me. It has been so very long my love. I have missed you. Have you missed me?

Now that is the question that haunts me. For me there is nothing outside of this quiet place. My mouth will never smile nor laugh. But as I look upon him now, I know it will not be the same for him.

Last time he came, he looked very ill. His skin was pale and crumpled, leaving ugly worry lines across his beautiful forehead. The bags under his eyes suggested that he had not slept for days. Perhaps because his mind was too tormented with thoughts of me. I’d like to think so. But today…

There is a fresh look about him and a gleam in his eye that I have not seen for a long time. On his lips, there is a ghost of a recent smile. He has laughed this week. I can tell it in his very movements, from the guilty weight that seems to push him towards my grave. I see his face start to lose his gleam as he sees my bare, empty grave. When I first moved here, he visited every day and adorned my grave with dozens of flowers. But recently the only flowers on my grave are withered and dead. No one comes for me.

He comes to kneel at my feet and starts to pray. I prepare myself for an explanation of this recent neglect and that ghostly smile, knowing at once that I will not appreciate the truth.

My darling, My love,
I wish you were here,
Things used to be simple with you.
When I looked into your eyes,
I could see my future,
I saw a white wedding,
And children. And I wanted it all.
You’re the one I was meant to spend my life with.

But fate…had different plans for us.
The loom spun and with a simple stroke,
You were taken from me for the rest of my life.
Now I don’t know what to do.


I could have ignored that damned ghostly smile on his lips. I could have ignored the reluctance in his step as he drew to my grave and I could have ignored the tremble on his lips as those artful words pushed their way forward. But I cannot ignore that look in his eyes that tells me he is torn. That part of him is torn away from me and is trying to drag the rest of him with it is something I cannot accept. Something I cannot overlook.

You have my heart, my love.
Forever and for always.
For a time I thought you should have my life too.
But I can see that you,
With your sweet and giving heart,
Would have wanted me to be free.
You wouldn’t have want me to always be bound to tears,
Inextricably pushed from the world,
Closer to the dead than the living.
You would have wanted me to be whole again.


When did I tell you that? Those words never passed my lips. Why should he be free when this earth will forever bind me? Why should he learn how to smile and laugh and love again? My cold lips will never bend into a smile again. Nor will a breath ever leave my lips in a laugh again. I can never flirt nor be able to heal my heart and use it for anyone else. My memories and love for him are all that exist for me now.

I can’t…
I have to love you and carry you in my heart.
But not carry my grief in my voice, nor my mind,
Nor my actions. I have to learn to live again.
I am sorry. Goodbye my darling.
I love you.


‘My darling’. Those two words are like knives that rip all that is left of my heart. ‘I love you’. Well those three words are like a scythe. They are all lies and they cut deeper than any other words he could have used. He does not love me. He could not. My love for him could never fade as his has done. If it had been him who had died, I would never have let go. In every action, every thought, he would be at the foremost of my mind. My very countenance would always show that I had lost my soul mate, there would be no peaceful gleam like I see in him now. If he had died I would have thrown myself down on the coffin and gladly dug through the wood with my nails so as never to be parted from him. I would never have let go.

Now he’s walking away. I can see those lying tears, that suggest that he feels more than he shows, starting to fall. But even while those tears appear like frosting on his gentle eyelids, that damnable smile is returning. He is already starting to forget. Already. I hate it when he leaves; it hurts so much more than anything else he could do to me. I cease to be when he is not here. I stop feeling, stop thinking and just…..Stop.
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Re: Lying Tears By Me

Post by sristy on Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:47 pm

very deep. The she' character isnt set up well but slowly it leads towards a secluson and morphs the emotions personally to a point which i wanted to be somewhat transparent but i guess u left it to the readers imagery. A well put together peice.
I will post a poem later b sure to fb mines.
Props on the read
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Re: Lying Tears By Me

Post by Hype on Fri Nov 26, 2010 11:54 am

ai im glad you liked this

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Re: Lying Tears By Me

Post by Dragon on Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:29 pm

lmao this is dope as f**ck.. The first piece i read way above decent in this site..
good job man
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Re: Lying Tears By Me

Post by raga4death on Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:21 pm

nuff said this isnt what i do but i liked reading stories. The poem inside and outside was sick.
Its nicely imaged.
Keep writing u mang.
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