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No Enigma Whatsoever

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No Enigma Whatsoever

Post by Carnage on Mon Dec 06, 2010 8:09 am

Keep the pages torn, the battle breaks and I’m waging
wars, the invading force,
a pillaged pattern never to mistake the door that
spills blood with ya fate to mourn,
With mercies key hole, temperance for the air you
breathe, I’m the Reapers easel,
Path to domination, a closed circuit, soul vacant with
no purpose…treasons needle,
To begin at a characters flaw, “thy kingdom come” only
if it’s apparent to ya God,
No clairvoyant pause, when baring tha laws paring
libels right to declare its cause
The corrosion of marble in a structure, columns carnal
to rupture the darkness that crumbles the marvel of
wonder
of how life ‘stands’ in divine trance (Gods techno
startled an bunkered )when I’m the Pagan art, skilled
to ‘usher’

get a grip, taste the salt, sit to sip the grains of
fault
ill inflict the liquor swigs with River styx to emblaze
the cross
from an age of froth to a blown belittled disassembled
symbol of ancient swamps
watch me turn a phrase to mar the place of cost
of where you graze the gloss of poked holes in your
tenors tent
each blisters expenditure meanders on M.C. Eschers
lens
all together in a better blend…
shhiiiitt, frappe till ‘U turn’, the price will never
end

jabbing the jovial till the flashlights run dry
wave goodbye as I drive guns high wit enough pride
to shatter the sparkle of why?..u marching to die thatz
in any sluts eye

so kiss ya kid on the forehead..
the shores bled…
ill take the shirt off ya back, and bond your tab…
theres nothin more said…execpt
“Father which art in heaven…” Damons Modern mask,
his dust…
is to where you wander at…
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Re: No Enigma Whatsoever

Post by Hype on Mon Dec 06, 2010 5:02 pm

ah the content was dope in this however the storylines presentation could be stronger.. basically you jumped into the topic too fast which could make the read agressive which would be better in a progressive way..

regarding the rhymes, the multies are enough, a little switchups in the rhymescheme here and there even gets this read intresting. the vocab seemed stronger. i dont know there were some words that i thought were important to understand this piece fully and i apologize for myself being at work and not having enough time to turn back to it again..
what i felt was the rhyming was good in this, may be a bit overused at places cuz a good flow is possible to obtain even without excessive use of multies however you have some of them qualities that a good writer shows..

Good read here..
Keep posting

Lets have more feeds here and i would nominate this for the keystyle of the month if this could make it


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Re: No Enigma Whatsoever

Post by thelastniggaalive on Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:39 am

this is dope..
well written rhymes, was enjoing the flow and multies
keep it up bruh

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Re: No Enigma Whatsoever

Post by Buddha on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:59 pm

Two Words...........Lyrical Genius

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Re: No Enigma Whatsoever

Post by Buddha on Tue Dec 07, 2010 3:04 pm

waiting for my battle with you..check in dude

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Re: No Enigma Whatsoever

Post by Wackness on Fri Dec 10, 2010 8:58 pm

dope as* lyrics.

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Re: No Enigma Whatsoever

Post by area51 on Sat Dec 11, 2010 5:52 am

nuuf said this is a good one right here I could see this in keystyle of the month jocolor
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Re: No Enigma Whatsoever

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